A Rap Battle in a Galaxy Far, Far Away
by aurebesh
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi isn't just a great friend and Jedi Master... he also raps. A two-shot set in the Mustafar duel.
1. The Battle Begins

**A/N: This fic's idea popped into my mind while I was taking a shower, and I really, really needed to get it out of my head. Enjoy!  
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**WARNING: TOTAL RANDOMNESS, BADLY WRITTEN RAP LYRICS.**

**Disclaimer: I am definitely not George Lucas.  
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><p>Darth Vader glanced to Padme Amidala's unconscious form before glaring at his former Master.<p>

"You turned her against me!" he yelled, voice rough with emotion. When he heard no response, he added, "You will not take her from me!"

Obi-Wan did not answer. Instead, he tapped his left hand to his lap several times, making beats… Vader felt his jaw drop when the Jedi started rapping.

"_You've done that yourself, boy_

_You have done that yourself_

_Your anger and lust for power_

_Made you the very thing_

_You swore to destroy._"

But he quickly regained his composure, and he smiled evilly before replying,

"_So you think you can outrap little Ani?_

_You're wrong, beware, I can make you cry_

_A Sith Lord's rapping can make someone get high_

_A mere Jedi cannot stop me!"_

"Anakin, turn back to the Light! It's not too late! Don't let Palpatine control you!" Obi-Wan begged.

"_Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan_

_I'm not your Padawan_

_I see through the lies_

_Of those stupid Jedi_

_And I don't fear the Dark side as you do." _Vader snapped (rapped, really).

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and ran to Anakin's wife, checking for signs of life.

"_I've brought peace,_

_Freedom and justice,_

_To my new empire._

_Behold, the awesome Darth Vader!" _the young Sith exclaimed.

The older man got on his feet and stared at him incredulously. "Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic! To democracy!"

"Don't make me kill you," Vader threatened.

"_Only a Sith deals in absolutes_

_Being evil is not cute_

"Why the hell are we even doing this?" the former Anakin muttered.

_Well, as now you lose my trust_

_I will do what I must."_Obi-Wan stated firmly, lightsaber at the ready.

"You will try,"

Vader ignited his lightsaber and somersaulted. As their blades clash, a fateful duel began.

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><p><strong>AN: Do you want me to make this a multi-chapter fic? Let me know! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Not cool, ObiWan

**A/N: Sorry for the long update. I had exams and I ran out of ideas and internet connection for weeks afterwards. Thanks for your understanding! :)**

**Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to George Lucas, etc, etc.**

**P.S.: I'm not much of an 'action' writer. Sorry if this chapter sounds rushed. Please let me know if I made a spelling/grammar error. Thank you!**

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><p>The duel continues… Vader was standing on a hovering miner droid, while Obi-Wan stood in a bigger platform.<p>

"_I have failed you, my friend_

_I have failed you so badly_

_Now the Republic has reached its end_

_And you're killing people madly." _Obi-Wan commented.

"_I should've known the Jedi were plotting to take over!_

_I knew it, it's true…_

_They're hungry for greater power!"_Vader retorted.

"Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, he didn't believe what the younger man just said. "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!" he insisted.

"_You wanna know why, Obi-Wan?_

_You wanna know why?_

_Number one._

_They kidnap little children._

_Separate them from their parents._

_And they call that compassion!_

_Two._

_They say 'no fear'_

_Why stop those guys from being afraid?_

_To be afraid is to be human._

_It's natural, and besides, the Dark side is always near!" _he began.

Obi-Wan gaped in disbelief.

"_The third reason they're lame_

_Their uniform's all the same_

_And they ban all emotions, bro!_

_It's like hell, you know!"_

Obi-Wan frowned, as if telling his former apprentice to stop.

Vader smiled evilly.

"This is the end for you, my Master." The Sith leapt into the air and landed on Obi-Wan's platform. Then the two continued their game.

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><p>Obi easily defended himself from Darth's angry attacks, but he didn't want to hurt 'Anakin'. At all. So he pleaded,<p>

"Anakin, please stop! I'm sorry I haven't been the best Master and friend you deserved. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, please, it's not too late, go back to the Light! Padme needs you!"

"Padme? Padme? You turned her against me! Now she doesn't even want to be near me!" Vader yelled hoarsely. "After all I've done for her…"

"Anakin, what you did is wrong, but you can still—"

"Shut up!" he spat, still fighting._"You stupid old man, don't call me Anakin! He's gone, he's dead, I don't care if you're sad!"_

Minutes later, Obi-wan saw what appeared to be solid ground, and so he jumped…and landed safely.

"It's over, Anakin! I have the high ground!" Obi-Wan said, hoping that he would surrender.

"_You underestimate my power_

_And the power of the Dark side_

_If you mess with Lord Vader,_

_That means suicide!" _Vader replied, a look of determination in his face.

"Don't try it," Obi-Wan said desperately. He did not want to kill his former padawan, even if he was no longer the brother he loved.

But as the Jedi predicted, the Sith leapt to the air. Kenobi raised his blade and swung it so quickly all he saw was a blue flash of light.

Then he looked at Vader. No. _What was left of him _was more appropriate to describe his current state—a body with no legs and only one arm.

"You were the Chosen One!" Obi-Wan cried. "It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them!"

_Not cool, Obi-Wan. More like _half_of the Chosen One._

"Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!"

_Stop lecturing me! _"I HATE YOU!" he yelled in rage.

Obi-Wan's eyes widened at his statement, and tears started to fall from his eyes. "You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you."

As Kenobi said that, the mutilated Sith sled uselessly to a lava flow and caught fire.

The fire crept from the end of (what's left of) his feet and burned his clothes, then it proceeded to his flesh and hair. Vader screamed in agony as his body was barbequed. _It's all Obi-Wan's fault, I hate him I hate him I HATE HIM!_

With that, the Jedi took Anakin's lightsaber and left without a word.


End file.
